Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
