I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
