I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
