Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
