ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
vagina is talking i cant
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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