if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
