all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
