There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
