she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
