My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
