it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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