did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
