it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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