youre lurking in front of me
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
