I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
