I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
