My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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