Why are handjobs necessary in class?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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