i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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