Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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