You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
