Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
