Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
