oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
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