Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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