Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
