My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
