My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
