Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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