3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
