What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
