last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
