Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
