Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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