Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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