Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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