when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize