High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
