Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
