By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
