well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
