We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Randomize
