Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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