I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
