Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
