farters have to be the big spoon...
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
