I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
ttyl tear gas
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
