nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
