i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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