I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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