i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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